Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Five Love Languagesof Children by Gary Chapman

This was a good re-read for a book group. I always learn new things about children, my spouse and people in general when I read these helpful books about love.

This time I learned that my little guy loves to get attention. He will walk up to one of the kids and just wallop them, get a reaction and then keep doing it as they yell and scream even more. BUT if instead of screaming and hitting him back the child give him a really big hug he will happily and immediately go on his way. So is that quality time or physical touch? both?

I also learned a bit from the chapter on Anger and the one before that on discipline. Very insightful. When anger gets all bottled up there needs to be an outlet. The one that is least harmful although harmful in its own way because it is anger not happiness we are talking about, is verbal expression. I would much rather have a child go off yelling and cursing then kicking and hitting or even taking drugs or getting pregnant as a way of acting out or releasing all that anger. My kids don't get very angry but still it was interesting to read and understand the bits that are "anger" times.

Discipline is a time for teaching and showing love. It isn't bad it can be good and constructive. But when it is manipulative then it will backfire and is counterproductive.

I think most of my children need all of the 5 love languages daily. That is a bit overwhelming for one adult, luckily the dad helps with most of the unconditional love around here or we would have a lot of love challenged children .

Whole Book

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